The faithfulness of God is sometimes too much to see, so overwhelming that it makes me cry, tears of thankfulness and tears of shame because there have been times where I truly felt like the Lord had abandoned me.
The last few weeks our church has been going through the book of Joshua. I love Joshua and the over-arching story that it tells. A couple weeks ago I decided to read ahead and came to the verse that Pastor Tyler spoke about last Sunday.
Joshua 21:45 " not one of the good promises which the Lord had made to the house of Israel failed. All came to pass."
I stopped there. That's all that I needed, a reminder that God is faithful. I've been dwelling on His faithfulness the last couple weeks since I read that verse. Pastor Tyler reminded us weeks ago that Caleb in Chapter 14 remembers the faithfulness of God in his past and pulls it into his present and at 85 years of age, is ready to claim the promises of His Great God.
Faithfulness. It's where I've been dwelling lately. Each Sunday, I say in my heart, I should write down the faithfulness of God in my life. So here is goes:
Before I even knew Christ and Church and God was just religion, God was pursuing me and faithful to me...
- He gave me family who cared for me.
- He gave me a mother who knew Jesus. She taught me Bible stories and songs and when she couldn't she sent me to VBS and Sunday School, and AWANA to learn about Him, His character and His goodness.
- When my father left our family, God placed me in a church that loved: loved teenagers who were broken and families who were broken. They loved me when I wore all black. They loved me when I was mean. They loved me when I was too good for them. They loved me when I was too busy for them. They loved me when I just loved being social. They loved me until I saw Jesus......my senior year of high school. UMMM. that was a long time and a lot of love....(Thank you Jesus for loving and being faithful to my youth workers so they could love me and be faithful to me)
- When jobs were necessary, He supplied them.
- When Friendships were necessary, He supplied them.
- When I found my identity in who my friends were, He reminded me my identity was in Him and who He made me to be.
- When jobs were lost and bills had to be paid, he moved in people's hearts and they sent us money to pay bills that they had no idea we had.
- When I thought that I was making decisions in my life and controlling circumstances, He was redeeming them and moving mountains to show me His faithfulness.
- When we moved every 12-18 months for the first 12 years of our marriage, He showed me that he directs our paths, provides friendships and resources that I never thought possible.
- When my heart broke, He loved me and Healed my heart.
- When my husband and family became more important to me than anything else, he showed me that He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, not the life that He has given me.
- When I doubted Him, when I lost hope in HIm, when I no longer trusted Him to care for me, to love me, to be faithful to me......He loved me: He put friends in my life to love me, He gave me a husband who showed me grace, He gave me a church who told me it was alright to cry and be broken and a mess, He gave me a family in my church that counseled me with the wisdom of God, the love of God and the faithfulness of God and who saw God moving in my heart to bring healing and hope long before I ever saw it.
Faithful. This is my God.
2 Timothy 2:13 " if we are faithless, he remains faithful---for He cannot deny Himself."
Last night, as I crawled into bed, I realized that I should be worried, I should be panicking if I was left to my own mind, my own ability to control my situation and what I would like to happen. However, God has been good. He has been reminding me of HIs faithfulness, His love and care for not only me, but all of His children all over the world. And as I have been dwelling on his faithfulness and love these last few weeks, He again has been faithful and supplied me with perfect peace.
Philipians 4:7 "and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
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